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Critters

54 photos across 21 breeds

🐹 Critters — hamsters, guinea pigs, rats, mice, gerbils, chinchillas, ferrets, hedgehogs — get grouped by size and by nothing else. Their needs have almost nothing in common, and advice that applies to one is often actively harmful to another.

Syrian hamsters must live alone and will fight to the death if housed together; guinea pigs and rats are intensely social and should never be kept singly. Chinchillas need dust baths and cool rooms; ferrets need several hours out of the cage daily. The species decides everything.

🚨 What they do have in common is that almost all of them are prey animals with small margins. A hamster or a guinea pig hides illness for as long as it can and then declines quickly, so the window between the first visible sign and a serious problem is often a day or two rather than a week. Stopped eating, sitting hunched in a corner, a wet or dirty back end, laboured breathing, weight loss you can feel through the fur: all of those are same-day problems, and all of them want a vet who sees small mammals regularly rather than occasionally.

⏰ Lifespan runs from about eighteen months to twenty years across this one page, which is worth pausing on. An Astrex mouse may give you eighteen months. A golden hamster two to three years. A guinea pig five to seven. A chinchilla fifteen to twenty — longer than most dogs, and a commitment people take on without noticing.

🛏️ Housing is where most of the money and most of the mistakes go. Nearly everything sold as a cage for a hamster is smaller than any welfare guideline recommends, tall multi-level cages suit climbers and not burrowers, and the bedding sold alongside is frequently the wrong kind. Getting this right before the animal arrives is cheaper than getting it right twice.

Critters, newest first

Loki, a ferret

Ferret

Loki went into the blanket at one end and emerged somewhere else entirely.

FrostyOtter · 5 days ago

Mochi, a golden hamster

Golden hamster

Mochi has an entire paper bag to live in and eats every seed in the doorway of it.

FrostyOtter · 5 days ago

Nibbles, a guinea pig

Guinea pig

Nibbles popcorns straight up whenever the grass is fresh, which is most mornings.

FrostyOtter · 5 days ago

Poppet, a astrex mouse

Astrex mouse

Poppet stood all the way up for a dandelion seed and missed it. She is going to try again.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Dusty, a beige chinchilla

Beige chinchilla

Dusty takes his bath extremely seriously and redecorates the entire room every time.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Sooty, a berkshire rat

Berkshire rat

Sooty reaches for the same dandelion seed every afternoon and has yet to catch a single one.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Shadow, a black velvet chinchilla

Black velvet chinchilla

Shadow finishes a dust bath and then sits perfectly still, letting the cloud settle around him.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Bandit, a black sable ferret

Black sable ferret

Bandit went into the blanket forty minutes ago. This is the first confirmed sighting since.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Nugget, a black bear hamster

Black bear hamster

Nugget has an entire castle and insists on eating every meal in the doorway of it.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Marshmallow, a albino ferret

Albino ferret

Marshmallow has stolen the blanket, dragged it off the sofa, and is now guarding it from me.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Clementine, a abyssinian guinea pig

Abyssinian guinea pig

Clementine found the clover at the far end of the lawn and has been running victory laps ever since.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Thistle, a african pygmy hedgehog

African pygmy hedgehog

Thistle has moved into a leaf, and is wearing a second leaf, apparently as a hat.

FrostyOtter · 6 days ago

Otter IX, a blazed rat

Blazed rat

Otter IX rolled out the red carpet, and the bouquet came over her head about a second afterwards.

FrostyOtter · 1 week ago

Damson VI, a blaze ferret

Blaze ferret

Damson VI is examining the biscuit and taking notes. There is a boat in the tea and she has declined to comment on it.

FrostyOtter · 1 week ago

Custard 14, a baldwin guinea pig

Baldwin guinea pig

Custard 14 drives the railway now. She has the lever, and the weather outside the window has already given up.

FrostyOtter · 1 week ago

Before you get a small pet

  • Check whether the species is social or solitary before buying a cage. Getting this wrong causes either fighting or loneliness, and both are serious.
  • Guinea pigs cannot make their own vitamin C and need a dietary source daily — the same is true of humans and very few other mammals.
  • Most commercially sold cages are smaller than any welfare guideline recommends. Floor area matters more than levels for hamsters and gerbils; height matters for rats and chinchillas.
  • Lifespans are short and variable: two to three years for a hamster or rat, five to seven for a guinea pig, up to twenty for a chinchilla.
  • Many are nocturnal or crepuscular, which makes them a poor match for a young child's bedroom and a fine match for an adult who is up in the evening.
  • Check the law before you fall for one. Ferrets and pet hedgehogs are restricted or prohibited outright in some states and countries, and it is not a rule anybody in a shop is obliged to mention.
  • Bedding and cage furniture are a real decision, not a colour choice. Pine and cedar shavings and fluffy cotton-wool nesting material cause respiratory problems and trapped limbs; paper-based bedding and plenty of hay do the same job without either.
  • A wheel has to be the right size and solid-surfaced. Too small and the animal runs with an arched back; barred or mesh and it catches feet and tails. For a Syrian hamster that means about thirty centimetres across, which is bigger than most cages ship with.
  • Every rodent and rabbit-adjacent animal here has teeth that never stop growing, and needs something abrasive to wear them on. Overgrown teeth are a vet job, not something that resolves.

General guidance, not veterinary advice. Anything about a specific animal is a question for a vet who has seen it.

Critters worth knowing about

A place to start rather than the whole list. Every name is a page.

  • Guinea pig

    Social to the point that keeping one alone is a welfare problem, and one of very few mammals that cannot make its own vitamin C. Five to seven years, and needs floor space rather than levels.

  • Golden hamster

    Better known as the Syrian, and strictly solitary — two adults housed together will fight until one dies. Nearly every pet Syrian in the world descends from one female collected near Aleppo in 1930.

  • Ferret

    An obligate carnivore with the energy of a kitten that never grows out of it: several hours out of the cage daily, and a strict meat diet with no grain or fruit. Restricted or banned in some places.

  • Rat

    The cleverest and most companionable animal on this page, and the one most unfairly dismissed. Keep two or more. Two to three years, with a high rate of respiratory disease and mammary tumours.

  • Chinchilla

    Fifteen to twenty years, which is the headline. Needs a dust bath rather than water, a cool room — they overheat above about twenty-five degrees — and height to climb.

  • African pygmy hedgehog

    Not a species found in the wild but a hybrid developed for the pet trade. Solitary, nocturnal, prone to obesity and to a fatal neurological disease with no cure. Illegal in several places.

Guides for critters

The subjects that come up on breed page after breed page, written out properly.

  • Heatstroke, and the first ten minutes

    Heatstroke kills quickly and is entirely preventable. Which animals are at risk, the signs, and the cooling that current evidence actually supports.

  • Adopting a rescue animal

    Rescue animals arrive without a history and settle on their own timetable. What decompression means, what the first three months look like, and what helps.

All 21 critter breeds with photos

Every breed somebody has posted, A to Z.